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but you can blame it on me and the person you thought you wanted to be but don’t you blame it on love
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where do you go, my lovely? [12 Feb 2006|01:34pm]
last night was tripped out.

i watched the final eps of AD, which was beyond depressing.. i had to break up watching it because it was just too much watching these probably final episodes. sigh... Rest in Peace Bluths. so yeah, kick off the night with a bummer!

smoked. went crazy. listened to "Come Together" and danced outside.. which was actually fun in MY head. then we went to Adrienne's party. I realized I hadn't been to a party in like... MONTHS. it was fun though.. very interesting people. Got pretty drunk... ended up taking shot after shot of these weird Paradise stuff. I sometimes get really paranoid at Circle parties, just because I would be freaking out if random people were in my apartment fucking with my stuff. I guess i'm a hypocrite cuz I love parties.. but personally I'd rather go somewhere else to party than my own.

i want to go to an Italian discotheque.. or any euro disco. i just want to live and bathe in disco. disco. disco. fuckk. i love it.
i have so much to do today.. since yesterday i was pretty useless.

i tire of people pretty quickly sometimes... but sometimes i don't. or.. sometimes i like a person so much i want to dislike them only to rediscover them again shortly thereafter? i don't know if i'm making sense. i still feel like shit from lastnight. i'm pretty sure i said stupid shit. i always do. oh god, my stomach made a noise. this is like stream of conciousness writing right now. like i'm fucking jack kerouac bitch. ::SHRUGS:: haha i just remembered that. oh god and that crazy girl. i hate attracting CRAZY girls. i want to attract someone all freaking ready. waiting waiting waiting. must i always be waiting on you.
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

[25 Dec 2005|12:04am]
so earlier i looked at my cellphone as i descended the stairs in this dormant house.

i told myself "Happy Christmas."

and realized all i want for Christmas is to connect with someone.

i'm a loner, not by choice, but rather i do not know of any other way.
so i want to be alone. with someone.


[17 Nov 2005|01:45am]
can i just say that Ki is sexy?

and that marijuana y tequila son amigos por vida!
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

grease will never be the word [13 Nov 2005|09:13pm]
so talking to corey makes me want to write this down so i don't forget

it's in response to watching the most atrocious piece of theater... GREASECollapse )
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

is your dad a dealer cuz youre dope to me [13 Nov 2005|02:23pm]
i often wished we lived in a society driven by ideals instead of egos.

i think that's my problem in the world. i live in ideals, the world lives in egos. and it's often, if it not always, frustrating.

i didn't care that i went to sleep last night at 11:30 on a Saturday night... on CORTACA. psh. Cortaca is so stupid. A. Organized drinking is stupid. B. Any consumption of large amounts of beer is stupid. C. Football games are stupid. It's just disturbing to rest of us real alcoholics who just want to sit back and have a nice cocktail.

i realized i've been sounding angry in my last few posts. it's just been a rough last two weeks. haven't really seen anyone. haven't really escaped this box.

but oh, well. friday i'll be in the city. and I FUCKING LOVE NEW YORK and DESIREE. oh shit, we'll get to go out on a Sunday night! hooooo-ah!
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

grrahh! [11 Nov 2005|12:12pm]
Dear Network TV:

i hate you. i rarely ever watch you because all your shows suck. the only two shows i find of merit are arrested development and the office. and you just fucking cancelled arrested development... and i'm sure the office will follow. when that happens, i will not watch you again.


sometimes... i'd rather spend my days researching in the library. which i do. i love dramaturgy.

and i'm so close to running away from Dillingham and doing Planned Studies.
What do I have to do?

fuckin hung up [09 Nov 2005|11:00am]
me and madge are totally on the same page without even knowing it.

my halloween costume and recent 70's euro dance crave completely fits into her new 70's reinvention.
her video is so effin hot. leotard, sequin belt, and pumps?! HOT. HOT. HOT.

it's a sign. we reinvent together.

p.s. is anyone else stoked about annie and dave stewart knockin out a new track?!
oh, one of the many reasons why i won't live in texas again.
What do I have to do?2 got the message through

get off of my street... I LOVE NYC [08 Nov 2005|11:22pm]
so imstoned. and this is my 2week anniversary of the beginning of my binge!

ityped the following paper for Grady.. hereCollapse )

10 days
and we are gonna get SO fucking TWISTED IN NYC.

oh, and "I love New York" by Madge is gonna be her new Like a Virgin. NO lie
oh, and does anyone else find the transition from Dear Jessie to Oh Father weird on the Like a Virgin album??
What do I have to do?

i LOVE new york [04 Nov 2005|01:26pm]

my life is complete

i now possess Madge's "Confessions on a Dancefloor."

and FUCK, is it GOOD.

it's been busy lately. it's been hazy lately. but we'll talk about it later.
and i should be in the city for Thanksgiving... with Dez... hopefully? lol

"other cities make me mad, other cities make me sad, but no other city made me glad except NEW YORK."
What do I have to do?

marry me a little [01 Nov 2005|07:24pm]
i wish i could go back in time.. and marry sondheim. not that i couldn't now... but i'm not into that whole anna nicole thing.

thinking of that should get me excited about "Company." maybe i am. i am! ok. there i forced myself. no, really i am.
i have so many great ideas i just want to make sure i can convey them.

anyways, this weekend. was retarded. or i was. something like that. i still am. i don't really have weekends considering i get krunked every single night. sunday night, though, was the epitome of retardation. Prin and I made up these games like "what dead animal am i?" and "how big is this box." it doesn't make sense. now. or then. but it was funny.

i dressed up friday with michael. i don't really like "costumes." i prefer outfits. it makes sense. trust me.

and it started raining randomly. we all know how seb does NOT like the rain. especially when surprised. time to slip on the rainboots!

OK. i'm gonna go get retarded now. life is so much easier in a different framework.
i'm no fucking buddhist, but this is enlightenment.
What do I have to do?

the further i go [28 Oct 2005|11:54am]
as much as i adore Kelli O'Hara, a Babe Williams she does not make. what were they THINKING. she better prove me wrong.

last nights classics:

"Close your eyes and pretend you are having sex with tara reid."
[in response to Ms. Reid's excessive groaning in Urban Legends.]

"Chocolate likes Chocolate"
[honestly... i have no clue. but jen agreed. oh and i accidentally called her Meg on the way home.]

"you can't expect to interview Bobby Brown and get all the answers!"
[on why i shouldn't be expected to have all the answers.]

"time to bake... and i don't mean cookies!"
[our classic starting up phrase]

"Captain hook captain hook we've tried to look in every nook..."
[some weird ass song i came up with]

oh and i made a SHITLOAD of fried rice. no joke. literally... pounds of it.

What do I have to do?

you will believe in love [26 Oct 2005|05:11pm]
"Stop it with that girly smile!!"- Meg
"Oh.. I'm sorry."- Me
[that was funny cuz Meg was referring to prin, being the only other girl in the room. but i intercepted. with my girly smile.]

[the Dibs bucket, our favorite dessert treat, fell on the ground.]

"Meg wants CHICKEN"
[Meg kept trying to get me to make Prin make the chicken instead of cooking meatballs and pasta because she didn't want Prin to cook. Prin, refused. and made meatballs with chips.]

"That's hunny!... I mean... funny."
[for some reason i said hunny... instead of funny.]

"You're gonna be so happy your mom had you so you could be alive to eat this meal."
[i made the most delicious chinese barbecue with fried rice last night. so i told that to prin as i was plating up.]

"When we were drug addicts..."
[prin said that about her and carl... she said she meant to say when carl was a "dealer." we didn't believe it.]

"I gotta feed my girl"
[me on why i gave prin extra food.]

"GUESS WHAT I AM?! I'm a FUCKING train!"
[prin stood in place and started moving like a train... then yelled that. it was hilarious.]

"PRIN Do you know what we become when we're stoned?"
"NO, FRUITY!!!!!"
[me and prin love eating fruit when we get stoned. like grapes. or strawberries. we heart the crisper.]

"HEY You're not berry face!"
[we only had 3 strawberries. and i really wanted fucking strawberries.]

"Stop putting the snake IN THE SNAKE!"
[prin decides to clean her bowl, that is snake shaped, with this piece of twine she finds on the floor.]

"Owww. why are you throwing rocks at me?"
[cuz you said you wanted to get stoned. it was funny.]

"AJ!! I'm NOT saying AJ! I'm saying HEY to JAY!"
[meg yelled at us for yelling at AJ when she was on the phone with him. we were simply yelling Hey to our friend Jay... which sounds similar.]

"i'm on a DESERT DIET"
[i forced myself to only eat deserts while having munchies.]

last night was fucking great. except now i feel pretty sick. yAY.
What do I have to do?

deeper and deeper [23 Oct 2005|11:25pm]
we all know i hate the rain. but... i love these 10 things.

1. going to bed before 1 am on a Saturday night
2. listening to the Immaculate Collection
3. that first cranberry and vodka of the night
4. breakfast late at night
5. american apparel clothes
6. searing meat
7. abercrombie emma cut jeans
8. not caring about the banality of daily life
9. reading scores of musicals
10. swiping a credit card

"what it feels like for a girl" is an instant CLASSIC.
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

it's gonna drive me crazy [22 Oct 2005|06:32pm]
this morning i woke up on prin and meg's couch. i felt sick as shit.

blahblahblahCollapse )

i need to find a matchmaker.
What do I have to do?1 got the message through

hm [20 Oct 2005|07:37pm]
it's scary. but china and iraq rule our world right now. and not for good reasons.

i can't help but spend all my time reading stuff on amnesty international with all the genocide going on in the world. man, people just don't even KNOW how shitty it is outside our lives. watching that video on Tibet made me bawl. literally... i was crying during class. it's awful what goes on in China. we are fighting in the completely wrong place man. Darfur. Tibet. Israel. Way worse shit going on. WAY worse.
What do I have to do?

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